Comparing Your Relationships to those on Social Media

You tune into Instagram and there you see the latest photo of the couple you follow. They have another happy, loved up photo. They seem like the perfect couple, always happy and in love. 

You tune into Facebook, there you see your friends and all their photos of them loved up with their partner. 

You go on TikTok and see all the couples having fun together. 

Everyone seems so happy, in love and in the perfect relationship. 

However, you don’t feel like that. You aren’t happy in your relationship. You are wondering why you can’t be like them. 

The photos and videos of happy couples is starting to make you feel rubbish about yourself. 

You are wondering why you can’t be like them. Why isn’t your relationship all happy and loved up? Why are you not making silly videos with you partner? 

1. Social Media Isn't Real

Social Media often shows the good things in life. It doesn’t show the fights, the upset, the real going ons in that relationship. 

I’m sure you’ve come across a couple you’ve followed on social media who seem so perfect for each other only to see they are ending it, or one of them speaking out about how the relationship was toxic. 

It can be so easy for us to compare ourselves or our relationship to those we see online. However, we never really know what is going on in anyone else’s relationship, even our friend’s relationships. We rarely see or hear about the bad stuff. 

People don’t want to show how lonely or upset they feel about their relationship, and it is easier to put on a happy front. 

Don’t compare your relationship to theirs. 

AND if they make you feel really rubbish about your relationship, you can stop following them. No harm in unfollowing if it helps you feel better.

2. What is going on for you?

If you are feeling rubbish about your relationship when you see others happy, what is going on in your relationship? This tells us there is something deeper going on here. There is some trigger. Knowing what that is can tell you a lot.

Identify what is making you feel how you are feeling. Is it that your relationship isn’t making you happy? Why isn’t it making you happy? What isn’t working? What changes do you want?

Is it that your partner doesn’t spend time with you? Why not? What do you want to do with them?

These are a couple of examples, there could be loads of other things going on, so whatever it is, explore how you are feeling and why you are feeling that way.

Really think about this –get clear. This is important to help change where your relationship is at. 

3. Boost your mood

You know how you feel and why you feel the way you do. Boost how you feel by doing something that helps you feel better. When you boost your mood, it can really help clear out those feelings, clear the mind and allow you to make decision that need to be made. Decision on what needs to happen in your relationship or what you need to do (we will come to this more in the next bit). 

Boosting your mood doesn’t have to be difficult, here are a few examples of things you can do: 

Talk to a friendThis is such a great way to get things off your chest and take your mind off everything going on by talking about other things and having a laugh.

Join a fitness class (you can do this online)Exercise is a great way to boost the feel good hormones, reduce stress and clear the mind.

DaydreamDaydreaming about how your relationship was or how you want it to be is a great way to connect to what could be. Allow yourself to fantasise. This also helps you identify what you actually want in your relationship.

Walk in natureGoing for a walk in nature is a great way to feel better and clear the head. You can go to the park, to woodlands, to the beach, anywhere that takes you away from home or work and allows you to connect with nature.

JournalJournaling is a great way to get stuff out your head. You can write about how you feel and allow whatever emotions want to surface to come up. A really good way to let go of the emotions holding you stuck.

4. Next Steps

What can you do to change your relationship? What steps do you need to take?

From the daydreaming and journaling you know what you want. You’ve acknowledged why you feel unhappy about your relationship. So, you have some idea what needs to change. From here you can start thinking about what steps to take to change your relationship.

These steps can be anything. It can be unfollowing the people who make you question your relationship. It could be deciding to talk to a Relationship Coach. It could be having a chat with your partner about how you feel.

It can be anything. One small step. That's it. What the next one small step to take?

It can be hard to take steps to change where you are at and move forwards, but it is one step at a time. Change only comes with taking those steps.

This is just the tip of the iceberg, we have so many subconscious motions going on that affect how we feel, how we think, what we do, how we react, and ultimately that is where the change needs to happen. But these simple steps are a great place to start.

If your relationship isn’t where you want it to be and you aren’t sure how to fix it, don’t struggle alone, get in touch because this is what I do. We can have a chat (free, no obligation chat) and see how I may be able to help you.

I’m CezaOuzounian, your guest blogger, from Warrior In Training, boosting the love in your life. 

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